Who inspires you?

Yes that is a question many times we are asked and we have asked ourselves.  For me it can be my amazing husband or my beautiful little girls and other times it is my mom.  She taught me so much about strength and love but she also did unfortunately teach me to not always put myself first.  I am not saying this is a bad thing.  She just always put her kids and then grand kids and then any family member that needed it FIRST over herself.  She had a great life but I do wonder what could have been if she would have put her self first just a little bit more.  I do it too.....I usually put Rob first because he works so hard for our family and he has given me more than I could ever ask for.  But now that we have the girls they come first and then Rob and then probably the dogs and then me.  Don't get me wrong this isn't a rant about poor me and how great I am.  That is far from the truth.  This is just me saying I am so thankful my mom taught me to take care of those I love and try to do right by those who love me.  I do know I do need to sometimes stop and say NO!  It is my time and that is that.  But let's be honest, I will only do it when I am at my wits ends and need a break.  So I guess all I need to ask myself is "Who does inspire me and why?".  Right now I need to focus on my mom as my inspiration....along with the good of that and the bad.  I need to find the balance of giving and loving my family to inspire them to do the same but I also need to love myself enough to take time for myself to show my daughters there is a healthy balance.  If you knew my mom you knew she was many times "All or Nothing".  When she did something that is all she concentrated on and did it until she and the rest of us were overwhelmed by it.  How many crochet items did one really need.  lol  I too have this issue at times.  I want it 110% perfect or I just don't want to deal with it.  I need to find balance so that the inspiration my mom has taught me can flourish but the inspiration I want my daughters to see can thrive in them.  I know this will be something I will deal with all my life.  But I guess my question is to you "Who inspires you and why?".

Now thats AMAZIN!

As my daughter would say, now that is "AMAZIN"...I pumped, got to the gym did 50 fast minutes of good cardio, got home fed Mindy, took a shower and had breakfast going by 8:30.  Yes for most people this wouldn't be that big of a deal but I am still trying to figure out how to get everything that needs to be done...well done.  I had to get up at 5am to pump since Mindy sleeps through the night my poor boobs just can't take it that long.  So any way, I was up and decided well I can sit here and veg, go back to bed or just bite the bullet and go to the gym while everyone is sleeping.  After sitting on the couch and almost falling asleep I dragged my dreary bum up and went to the gym.  I honestly don't understand how some of these super moms look so good and get everything done and have a happy healthy family.  And yes some of my friends are these women.  Maybe once I loose the 20-30 lbs I would love to shed I will have the energy to be a somewhat  super mom.  Until then I keep dragging my bum to the gym and keep thinking I will look & feel AMAZIN soon.

I love you momma~

Some days I honestly wonder how I was choosen to be these beautiful little girls mom.  Yes I know the whole "how a baby is made".  But honestly my girls are so healthy and happy...except for the occaisonal toddler meltdown....I couldn't have been blessed with better daughters.  I guess the pain I have been through with loosing mom and the pain I still go through daily makes me appreciate them so much.  YES there are days that I just want to close my eyes and have peace and quiet and a glass of wine...and some days a shot.  The smiles on their precious faces and hearing "I love you momma!"  always takes all the challenges away.  The main thing I pray I can give to my daughters is that I love them as much as my mom loved me and that I can provide them with the knowledge of how much she would have loved them too.

And away we go....down that is.

Well I am down another pound today and so far 9 lbs since coming back from Bend.  I am still trying to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight so I can then loose the last few lbs to get to my goal weight.  The only problem is I still have the biggest stinking sweet tooth and with Lindsey potty training we have little sweets to intice her during the training period...okay okay they are bribes but hey they work.  I just can't wait until I actually have a waist again, I feel like a big square blob right now.  I am still trying to figure out how to get to bed before midnight every night so I can wake up at 4am to pump and then hit the gym before Rob is up to go to work and before the girls are up.  I am one of those that if I don't keep to a schedule I have too hard of a time being focused and dedicated.  NOT that the two 1/2 marathons I have committed to doing should be enough to keep me motivated.  =-)  Well I will just have to keep praying that those tootise rolls will stop talking to me.

Here goes nothing

Well here goes nothing.  I decided to write about the misadventures of my life with two precious little blue eyed girls and a fabulous husband.  And the happy times of having the best family I could ask for, the triumphs and tribulations of my weight loss journey, the struggles of loosing my mom and missing her & anything else the tickles my soul.